HERE'S SOME NON NEWS

Anna Nichole Smith. And Don Imus. These are jokes, right? At least the publicity they are being given must be a humongous joke. The cat certainly thinks they are funny.

The Smith woman is only notable for two things (no, not those two): 1) she was a beautiful woman. 2) she prostituted herself to an old, rich geezer who wanted a trophy wife. End of story if one has any ability to think.

Don Imus. Joke number two. He's known for a few other things. Like not being able to afford a haircut. And his apparent inability to raise his eyes and look at you. And the ridiculous hat (owning a ranch in New Mexico designed for children does not make you a cowboy). And his self importance. He's a undoubtedly a legend in his own mind.

I don't like Don Imus. Haven't since he thought it was hilarious to make fun of bald men. But they don't have big organizations and "political correctness" to defend them. Nor politicians who want the ink. So he got away with that one. And he makes very tasteless "jokes" about some of nature's slipups. But everyone isn't born with a classic profile and high cheek bones. Again, those people don't have big organizations and "political correctness" on their side either.

It isn't a matter of how inappropriate I thought his remarks were. It isn't a matter of "ho" being used. (The Comedy Channel showcases comedians who use it regularly. And worse.) It isn't his cavalier attitude toward other people who were not as lucky as he. It isn't his "look at me, ain't I pretty?" view of life. It isn't the abrasiveness of his posings. Actually, I find nothing even vaguely entertaining nor educational about his television show. To me, it's an exercise in bare naked egoism.

But I have a little voice that speaks to me every once in a while. It's called "memory", or "Americanism", or something along those lines. And sure enough, it popped into my mind and shouted: "I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend your right to say it with my life."

This flap is an excellent opportunity to make gigantic holes in the idiotic "political correctness" crap. I have a great problem with the lack of political correctness in our lives. Were it a worthwhile consideration in this situation, we would look at this word choice that is hunky dory for blacks to use, but taboo for whites to use. We would recognize that this, too, is a form of discrimination.

The wonderful commedienne Whoopi Goldberg has made the statement that she was quite satisfied with being called Negro. She also has pointed out that she is not, in her opinion, an "African-American". She is, she declaims proudly, an American. I have nothing but admiration for the common sense and patriotism in her words. Ms. Goldberg is my kind of person.