Tuesday, November 6, 2007


Hi all. It's me, Schotzy again. The two legged cat went to have a nap and I've taken over. That'll teach him.
The Bet:
Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive, the two fathers make a bet to see a year from then which family has become more Americanized.
A year later they meet again and the first man says "My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud. How about you?"
The second man replies, "Fuck off, Raghead!".
A thief has stolen a book titled "Steal this Book" from a modern art exhibition in Switzerland. The organisers of the Basel Shift Festival have decided not to report the theft to the police yet, and hope the thief will return the book. The book with the words "Steal this Book" emblazoned across its cover had been placed in an incubator by artists from the Viennese artist's group Ubermorgen. A spokesman for the artists said: "The central part of the work was a book with the title 'Steal this Book' as a way of representing in art an internet hacking operation that made entire books readable on amazon.com, instead of just single pages. "It was an attempt to praise those that fought for the right for literary freedom, and not an invitation to steal the book." The book was written by Abbie Hoffman in 1970 and published in 1971, and includes advice on growing marijuana, starting a pirate radio station, living in a commune, stealing food, shoplifting, stealing credit cards, making pipe bombs, and obtaining a free buffalo from the US Department of the Interior. Many bookstores refused to carry the book, because so many patrons followed the advice of the book's title and stole it.
Here's a recipe I found. Enjoy:
I remember doing this when I was a kitten...and again last week.
I found this on Halloween but forgot to put it in my post then. If you wait until it's loaded, then put your cursor on the names you'll get some surprises.
Sometimes you will cry, and no one will see your tears.
Sometimes you will laugh, and no one will see you smile.
Sometimes you will fear, and no one will see you shudder.
Sometimes you will fall, and no one sees you struggle.
Sometimes you will be late, and no one seems to notice
But fart just one time...
News for humans:
Administering birth control pills and other contraceptives to middle school students has been approved at a Portland, Maine, school.
The Portland School Committee voted 7-2 Wednesday night to allow King Middle School's health center to offer the services to students, most of whom are between 11 and 13, WCSH-TV, Portland, reported.
The issue arose after five girls reported being sexually active last year. Under the arrangement, parents would have to sign a consent form to allow treatment at the school's health center but, based on doctor-patient confidentiality, wouldn't be notified of any contraceptives administered.
The school has provided condoms to students since 2000, the Portland Press Herald reported. The vote makes King the first middle school in Maine to make a full range of contraception available to students in grades 6 to 8, said Nancy Birkhimer, director of teen health programs for the Maine Department of Health and Human Services.
And they spayed me. Hmmmmph.
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother."
I can't read,
I can't write -
and they won't let me talk!"
Wacky laws:
Louisiana: It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simpleassault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
New Mexico: Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
Oklahoma: Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed formaking ugly faces at a dog.
Pennsylvania: No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewivesfrom hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
Washington: All lollipops are banned.
At a nursing home in Miami, Florida, a group of Senior Citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,"said one.
"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,"said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.
"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,".... another went on.
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. Then there was ashort moment of silence.
"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully."Thank God we can all still drive."

Sunday, November 4, 2007


Once in a while I get stuck on my own questions. The thing behind the header is one such item.

Others follow.

  • I have a difficult time understanding how Yale University (a prestigious and expensive school here in the U.S.) could give a degree to a student who can barely make coherent sentences when he speaks. Does Yale care that they have lost their prestige with many of the American public?
  • When did MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) lose its way? They were started by a lady who was grieving for her lost daughter, killed by a drunken driver. The idea was to force law enforcement officers and judges (more on that in another post) throughout the country to enforce the laws against drunk driving. It has degenerated into an organization that wants every single vehicle (we have more cars than people here) to have an ignition interlock installed and working. With a no start feature if it detects that glass of wine you had with dinner two hours ago. They want cars impounded of those who get a ticket (for the first or fortieth offense) and sold at auction. And driver's licenses cancelled if you're arrested. Not convicted, just arrested. Mad's actions have become so Zero Tolerance centered that the lady who started and was president of the organization has resigned. My question is "wha' happened"?
  • American television has become an advertising first, entertainment and education second, medium. In spite of a Federal Communications Commission no-no note, shows now consist of at least 35% advertising. That's over 12 minutes of being harangued in a 30 minute show, 23 minutes in an hour, untold number of minutes in a sporting event. Some "networks" run print ads over the show they are telecasting so you can be entertained by a full hour of ads. It is very distracting. I've timed some of the ads run during various shows and I guess it depends on how much time their sales people can peddle on a given show. If a citizen complains they love to point out that advertising pays for the "free" television they watch. One network president even said that mute buttons should be removed from TVs. His reasoning indicated that we would be stealing the shows if we didn't watch the commercials. I don't watch the pointless and inane "comedy" shows nor the cruel "sports" shows nor do I watch the thousand and one "infomercials" they display. Question: Isn't it time the FCC started enforcing their own guidelines?
  • When did the U.S. decide it was ok to buy food from foreign countries? When we produce more food than we can consume, sell to the rest of the world and even pay farmers not to grow food it seems this action is an oxymoron. And food from certain unnamed (by me) foreign countries who are not known to practice American style hygeine. Don't say it's cheaper. One trip to the hospital from a disease or infection would pay for several years of various food stuffs. Question: When do we wake up and say something like "OK, buy caviar and some wines and exotic items, but do not buy the basics? We were avoiding many diseases until you started to buy from third world countries."
  • Why do some bloggers have 6, 8, 10 or even more websites? I can understand two, mebbe three, but larger numbers? (cuckoo has three, one in Hindi, two in English, a couple of others have two). Where do they get the time? Do they ever go to the dinner table? The bathroom? The mailbox? What happens when they have to stop and clean all the garbage out of their browsers? When do they bath? Open a beer? Read the paper? Surf the web?
  • When did America decide to ok slavery again? I'm talking about wages and conditions here. There will be a post about it in the future.
  • When did the Federal Bureau of Investigation (filled with CPAs and Attorneys) decide an entertainer, in fact a stage magician, was violating a federal law when he was accused by some woman of raping her? Mebbe I am in Kansas? Or Oz?
  • When did we decide it was ok to break the law and suffer no consequences? When did the Bar Association decide that the end justify the means?

I'm looking for some smart answers here. So I'm asking the smartest people I know.