Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
New Definitions To Learn
- TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns redwhen your car approaches.
- PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen,and the majority have no idea what's happened.
- SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut.
- SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd lookfat in mink.
- EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything youknow you are.
- FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in a Texas theater that isn't a western.
- OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.
- BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself."
- TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.
Here's a shocker: http://hubpages.com/hub/Funny-Pictures-Animals-at-Large
Linda and Mary were up in the far north woods, out looking for a Christmas tree. They were all bundled up from head to toe, carrying their hatchets and a coil of rope to tie on and drag it back.
They had thought of everything. They were all set, but they couldn't find the right tree.
They searched for hours, slogging through knee-deep snow. The wind was blowing and the wolves were howling, but they persevered. Had to get that Christmas tree.
Finally, as the sun was beginning to head downward, one turned to theother and said, "That's it! I've had enough! The next tree we come to, we're going to cut it down, whether it's got lights on it or not!"
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears.
"Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?"
Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out."
"OK," the bride sniffled. Well, it starts out, " Take fifty cents worth of ground beef . . . "
Bizarre December Holidays
- December 21 is
- Look At The Bright Side Day,
- National Flashlight Day,
- National French Fried Shrimp Day,
- Hamburger Day
- December 22 is National Date-Nut Bread Day
- December 23 is Roots Day
- December 24 is National Egg Nog Day
- December 25 is National Pumpkin Pie Day
- December 26 is National Whiners Day
- December 27 is National Fruitcake Day
- December 28 is Card Playing Day and National Chocolate Day
- December 29 is Pepper Pot Day
- December 30 is Festival Of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute and National Bicarbonate Of Soda Day
- December 31 is Unlucky Day
I'm a fan of December 24....
Friday, December 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
- Obamamama wants us to give up our right to legally carry concealed weapons. Yep. He said so. Like Buck and FHB and Lin, I have no intention of turning in my permit. You see, we have read the Constitution and its Amendments, The Bill of Rights and people like Paine, Washington, Adams, Franklin and so on. And we've come to accept them as wise, wise people. The big O is from Chicago. Many years ago when I really, really loved everything about Chicago, even I wondered if I shouldn't have been carrying then.
- I know about big government expanding its sayso just to protect those who have fallen into cushy, good paying government jobs. The principle behind this is to make one's bureau so big, so complicated, with so many employees, that the average citizen gives up trying to get to you after the frustration mounts over his/her head and cascades down like rain from a hurricane. Or CYAWP. I gave up with Internal Revenue years ago. There is no chance that government bureau in charge of concealed weapons won't expand. Like Topsy.
- Clicking on the header takes one to Jack Cashill's admittedly muckraking page. But it talks about big O and retired terrorist (did I write that? Retired?) Bill Ayers. There seems to be a lot of truth bared in his reviews of Obamamama. There's a page of his essays(?) available at http://www.cashill.com/articles_all/recent.htm .
- I don't know about y'all (ooops linguistic slip) but I am tired of the people I elect to the Presidency or Congressional offices lying through their teeth to me. Yes, oral sex is indeed sex. Yes, weapons of mass destruction mean nuclear (not nucular) to me. Yes, breaking and entering is a violation of law and makes one a crook. Yes, allowing people to break American immigration laws is a crime. And on and on.
- I am sick of the lack of reasoning on voters parts when they don't seem to be able to recognize the obvious fact that unless the entire electoral system is changed, we the people are the ones who will suffer. (Actually neither candidate seems to see the need to end No Child Left Behind, teacher tenure and poor performance from teachers.) Give us back our schools Mr. would be President.
- I'm an old creeky male now, but I have lived through two Presidents dying in office. Franklin Delano Roosevelt when I was a pup (I used to listen to his fireside chats, well, my parents saw to it that I sat and listened) and John Fitzgerald Kennedy shot to death by at least one sniper. Neither of these events caused anything but grief and sorrow among the people of the United States. (I beg your pardon, one of them gave us a great President, the other a thief and scoundrel. No, figure it out yourself,) I do not want to witness a third such event. I will have to give McCain the edge in living out one term. I am afraid that O would not survive the sniper attack. We have a lunatic fringe (fringe? Hell, CNN says more than a third of the population will hate a black President. Viciously.) that still doesn't want blacks to have equality. But having written “A steady attack on the white race . . . served as the ballast that could prevent the ideas of personal and communal responsibility from tipping into an ocean of despair” is not a phrase to calm the lion's heart. Bill Ayers needed to choose his words more carefully. Unless he has a hidden agenda.
- The chances of my ever casting a vote for slobby looking governator Bill Richardson are found in between infinitesimal and none. The man is a carpet bagger. Have a look, have a listen, have a read. New Mexico should apologize to the other 49 for this fiasco. Sorry, America.
- OK. then it is McCain and Palin for me. Richardson gets my vote to be returned to Mexico. Revenge can be sweet.
- One more reason for my vote: I see no motivation (other than perhaps some jealousy) for the vicious and uncalled for attacks on Ms. Palin. You see, I can remember a neck tie salesman who didn't have much knowledge of how things worked in Washington suddenly having the Presidency thrust on him. And of his becoming one of the best Presidents America has ever had.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Be sure to click on the header. I got a kick out of it.
A new facet has been added to Salome's story. Remember, she's 22 years old. Yesterday morning she appeared at our door looking horrendous. Once more. The thought went through my mind that her brother, Hakim, had gotten physical again. But that was not the case. Nope. She had given blood in a blood drive and it was the first time in her life she had done so.
The crook of one of her arms was heavily bandaged and she didn't want to show me. But I also saw bandages on the backs of each of her hands and one on her other arm. So I coaxed her to take them off and when she did, I saw what I could only consider some amateurish attempt at sticking her with various needles. Apparently the damage done to the crook of her arm was a misguided attempt (the first time) to find a vein. She told us that the girl looking for the vein couldn't find one and finally called someone else to help. That nurse had no trouble locating a good vein -- in her other arm.
But that had not caused this downturn in her health. Apparently she had felt dizzy and almost fainted. So a doctor was summoned (he should be ashamed of himself if the story we were told is true) and he said he detected a heart murmur and she needed to see a specialist. Now, instead of having one the nurses there call the heart specialist and make the appointment for her, they gave her a piece of paper with instructions on what to ask for and the phone number of a doctor.
So, we read the paper (I kept my big mouth shut about the cavalier attitude of this so-called healer) and told her how to handle the call. She was told this particular doctor was not working that day and they couldn't help her until late in July when she could call for an appointment. Never mind that the first doctor had told her to tell them it needed to be done in less than a week. That was ignored. So she called the first doc's office and told them her problem and asked for help. They gave her the name and number of another medico.
They didn't offer to call for her. She has an appointment with him Monday.
Now, it seems to me that if one of my doctors told me I had to see a heart specialist immediately, he would also have had his staff make the appointment for me.
So this lack of accommodation sounds like discrimination to me. And not because Salome is a female.
Wild Thing and I got her car back here and her daddy showed up later that day ands took her to his home where it is assumed she will be babied and cared for by her family.
Oh, yeah, she and her father have made up (which cooled off the brothers). I guess Daddy is the final say so in Arabic families practicing Islam. It is easy to see that he really does love his daughter and wants the best for her. But he is also bound by the thousands of years of the practice of their religion. The man must have a lot of pent up confusion in his life, considering the conflicts of Iraqism and Americanism (I like making up my own words) that are built into the two countries.
We are concerned that an extremely bright, 22 year old kid, has a heart murmur. I'm sure her Mom and Dad are also.
This post is an interim post to let you know what is going on. The discussion on Darwinism will continue next post (God willing and the Creek Don't Rise).
Monday, June 16, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
- 1. Sheriff
- 2. Medical Examiner
- 3. Mayor
- 4. Governor
- 5. State Auditor
- 6. President
- 7. Vice President
- 8. President of Mexico
- 9. President of a Banana Republic
- 10. None of the above.
Someone needs to get hold of Barack Obama and warn him. I can guarantee a lot of lost votes should he decide to give this governator any kind of federal job.
Mr. Obama needs to exercise a lot of thought about the man who hides behind this beard. He is definitely secreting something and it only bodes good for him, not for those around him. He is selfish, concentrates on "what's in it for me" kind of thinking and can do no good either for the Democrats nor the United States.
The racism card has already been played once by the campaign. Playing it again, this time with those of Mexican descent could lead to a disaster. Understanding the pitfalls inherent in going into that arena should be prime to Obama's campaign. One can hope his advisers warn him properly of the nasty potential.
What brought this on? Well, our daily mistake, er, TV news channel, informs us that what was going to be an open meeting town hall style that would be held tomorrow with veterans and their families, will now be by invitation only. Barrack's elitism seems to be showing, the governator's cowardice is evident and the people are the losers.
Barrack's wife, Michelle, will hold two fundraisers for her hubby. Both of them will be closed to the public.
I'm not interested in giving up our country to those who only want to put gains in their pockets from its richness and promise.
There's something from a publication called "Pajama News" (or some such name) that I found to be a reasoned article (for the most part), under the header. Click it if you're interested.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
- Always give generously. A small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, I care.
- Climb your way to the top. That's why the drapes are there.
- Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
- Find your place in the sun. Especially if it happens to be on that nice pile of warm, clean laundry.
- If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over several expensive antique lamps.
- Life is hard, then you nap.
- Make your mark in the world. Or at least spray in each corner.
- Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.
- Variety is the spice of life. One hour ignore people, the next hour annoy them.
- When in doubt, cop an attitude.
- Never give a human an even break
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Oh, yes it is --------------------->
(Be sure to click the header for something different.)
I remember the old timey comedians. Like Bob Hope, Bill Cosby and Red Skelton. Here's a piece from Red Skelton:
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionshipShe goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds.Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas . 3. I take my wife everywhere .. but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 monthsI don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" Can't you just hear him say all of these?I love it ... these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless."
Did you know...... that today is Respect Your Cat Day?
In 1384, King RichardII of England issued a royal edict condemning the eating of cats. Give your cat a little extra treat today!
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. --- Dorothy Parker
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas.
She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Did she win?
He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, she just fainted!"
Have a look:
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. .
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
I'm not accusing anyone, but...: http://www.switched.com/2008/03/18/internet-and-phone-addiction-could-be-classified-as-mental-illne/?ncid=NWS00010000000001