Wednesday, January 21, 2009

THE QUEEN NEEDS SOME HELP?

Don't forget to try out the header. A little click'll do it.
The election is over. The inauguration is over. The first action has been taken. We're in a dump. Economy-wise, that is (that word came from a California friend).
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JOE'S FAIR PLUMBING ACT of 2008
(UNCLASSIFIED) Economics Lesson:
President Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it. Joe drives to the White House, where it's clear that all the residents in the neighborhood make more than $250,000 a year.
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Joe arrives and takes his tools into the house.
He is led to the room that contains the leaky pipe under a sink.
Joe assesses the problem and tells President Obama it is an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes. President Obama asks Joe how much it will cost.
Joe immediately says, "$9,500."
"$9,500?" President Obama asks, stunned. "But you said it's an easy repair!"
"Yes, but what I do is charge a lot more to my clients who make more than $250,000 per year so I can fix the plumbing of everybody who makes less than that for free," explains Joe.
"It's always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied government to pass this philosophy as law and it did pass earlier this year, so now all plumbers have to do business this way. It's known as 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act of 2008.' Surprised you haven't heard of it, Mister President."
In spite of that, the President tells Joe there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Joe leaves.
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Senator Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book looking for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses listed have gone out of business.
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Not wanting to pay Joe's price, President Obama does nothing. The leak under the President's sink goes unrepaired for the next several days. A week later the leak is so bad that President Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there's a risk that the room will flood, so President Obama calls Joe and pleads with him to return.
Joe goes back to the White House, looks at the leaky pipe, and says "Let's see this will cost you about $21,000."
"A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!" The President quickly fires back.
Joe explains the reason for the dramatic increase. "Well, because of the 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act,' a lot of rich people are learning how to fix their own plumbing, so there are fewer of you paying for all the free plumbing I'm doing for the people who make less than $250,000. As a result, the rate I have to charge my wealthy paying customers rises every day.
"Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work from the group of people who get it for free has skyrocketed, and there's a long waiting list of those who need repairs. This has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, and they're not being replaced - nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they won't make any money. I'm hurting now, too. All thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their fair share."
President Obama tries to straighten out the plumber: "Of course you're hurting, Joe! Don't you get it? If all the rich people learn how to fix their own plumbing and you refuse to charge the poorer people for your services, you'll be broke and then what will you do?"
Joe immediately replies, "Run for president, apparently.".
"Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." --Sir Winston Churchill
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A not exactly first rate TV and night club comic may become a Senator. Aw, shucks, why should I be surprised? After all, I lived through a second rate twice. Twice. And a clown who never did apologize to us for his lies. A blow is sex, Bill. And a semi-literate Prez.
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After both the Chief Justice John Roberts and President Barack Obama couldn't quote the Constitution correctly, the thought occurred to me that we might not have seen the last of President Bush.
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Whatever you've got planned to do, make sure you view this completely. There's a kicker at the end. http://www.freakybestmanspeech.com/
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Now, there are probably more people with spare time than I imagined. Some of them even hold nationwide contests and hand out prizes. Strange competitions like: http://www.canstruction.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
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Americans aren't the only ones with problems in schools:
LONDON - A third of elementary school students confused Sir Winston Churchill with moon-walking astronaut Neil Armstrong, a British survey found.
The survey, commissioned by Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment and the Royal Astronomical Society, found that a third of children ages 4 to 10 mixed up the British leader with the first man to set foot on the moon, London's Daily Telegraph reported Thursday.
"It's a bit of a worry to find that children don't know who the first man on the moon is, let alone that they don't know who led the country to victory in the Second World War," said Gavin Quirk, a Disney brand manager.
A similar survey of British teens in February reportedly showed that 25 percent believe Churchill was a fictional character.
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Signs of the times:
Sign seen in an animal shelter: "All children left unattended will be given a free kitten."
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While Wild Thing and I were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, Wild Thing asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in?"
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I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone.
My wish has come true. I no longer knowhow to use my telephone.