Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Have you ever thought about fixing your 'puter with a hammer? I have. And very, very recently.
I lost the sound on mine. Now, this computer was built 'specially for me and my weird way of using the internet. So when the sound went out (and I mean absolutely out, gone) my phone call to my nerd builder enabled me to listen to his answering machine telling me he was on vacation "for a few weeks".
I felt the walls closing in, my heart stuttered and panic was a thin layer of glass away from me. It could shatter with a mere touch.
Ye Gods, reality might set in if that happened. What to do?
Hah. Google it. So, carefully and with exact spelling, I asked our master for help with Avance AC97 Audio. It responded. With umpteen pages of supposed data. "About" 97,000 of them.
I looked at several and then shut down and went to bed. That was day one.
The next day, I admit I was daunted and simply did what had to be done (bank, email, game that didn't need sound to function). Took Wild Thing to good cafeteria for dinner. Went to bed.
The next day I avoided even looking at the beast. Finally gave in and visited the first four of Google's pages. Went to a number of sites. Including Microsoft sites. (Do NOT visit Microsoft sites unless you enjoy clicking on one blue link after another and trying to remember what you read five pages ago.)
(If you like clicking on thingees visit a site by clicking on my header. And be sure to scroll down the page.)
Worn out, brain spinning, wondering if I would fall asleep at the keyboard, I shut it down. Had spent more than five hours trying to get the problem fixed. Slept like a log.
A few more days passed with much the same results. (OK, OK, I did not keep chasing all these rainbow dreams. But I did the necessary things on my muted 'puter.)
Today, I decided I would fix it or get that hammer out. So I opened the Control Panel, clicked on "Sounds" and once again invoked the "Adjust Sound Volume". Then to the "sounds" page. Three times I invoked the fixer pages. Two times they led me to no positive result.
Mumbling "Rackafratz" under my breath I chose to uninstall the driver and then revert it to the last good one. (I am scared to death fooling with the Registery.)
Merry little sounds issued from the speakers. I called up a song and listened to the wonderful sounds.
I had won. Microsoft lost. Avance lost. Two out of three ain't bad.