GOVERNATOR, PAY ATTENTION

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town.The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding.The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed places. Later, they passed some people who remarked,"What a shame, he makes that little boy walk."So then they decided they'd both walk! Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey.The boy and man figured they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass goodbye!

THE SENATE LAUGHS AT GOVERNATOR

Ain't it wonderful? (solecisms are free-Ed) Our Governator, Bill Richardson to those who haven't been here before, was gallivanting around the country raising money to run for Pres. So the Senate and House finished up all the bills and acts he knew very little about, sent them to his desk and packed up to go home. Unfortunately, when Bill got back he discovered some of his pet cash cows hadn't been handled the way he wanted. So he called a "special session" to get the things he wanted, which, had he been here, would have been done. This action is now lumbering us with extra costs that are unneccessary. After all, Senators, Representatives and their employees don't work for free. (I've heard that for all the good they do, it should be free.) So the Senate (dominated by Republicans) came back to sit in their offices and ignore the Governator. The House, (dominated by Democrats) on the other hand, wants to do what ever their fearless leader asks of them. At loggerheads? You bet. Cost the tax payers more money? You bet. Does it have the citizenry shaking their heads in disgust? You bet.

SOME FUN

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed infront of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastorfinished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said theirgood-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heartclosed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?""I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied."What's so funny about that?""I'm a gynecologist." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "uh oh." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next table discussing their bill."Well Peggy," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based on the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm that's worth at least $137,000."

PLAY DRIVING GAMES/?

Researchers at Ludwig Maximilians University in Munich, Germany, say drivers who play racing video games are more likely to take risks behind the wheel. The team conducted three studies, published in the American Psychological Association's Journal of Experimental Psychology, that found players of the games tend to be more aggressive drivers and are more prone to accidents, The Telegraph newspaper of London reported Monday. Two of the studies found that interviewees admitted to having more aggressive feelings toward driving and to taking more risks after playing the games, while the third, which employed the use of a driving simulator, found that men took more risks on the simulator after playing the games. The amount of risk-taking was not increased for women. "Risky media content, as provided by racing games, activates feelings of arousal and excitement related to increased risk taking ... at least in men," said team member Peter Fischer. We conclude that playing computer games could provoke unsafe driving. "Road traffic practitioners should bear in mind the possibility that racing games indeed make road traffic less safe, not least because game players are mostly young adults, acknowledged as the highest accident-race group." This concerns driving. What about all the violent games? I haven't seen any real studies yet. Lots of suppositions,but no in depth work.

FOR SUV LOVERS

Why you don't want an SUV

WE NEED SOME MAJOR HELP

• We have a lot of cowboy sayings in the West. Here's a few: "Sure you can trust the government. Ask any Indian." " Learn to speak kind words - nobody resents them." " The wild horse can see, hear, and smell a man farther than any other animal . . . except a woman." "Objects in mirrors are dumber than they appear." That's your cowboy lesson for today. And we've got real cowboys here in New Mexico. Not just the "drug store" type. Men who still earn their living riding herd, mending fences, gelding steers. On the other hand, we've got some phonies, too. After you're here a while, you'll be able to tell the difference. One other cowboy rule: Don't spoil his fun. Let him play at it. The world always needs fools. If you're really lucky you'll meet someone who owns a ranch or is the foreman on one. He just might invite you to visit and see a working spread. If he does invite you, go by all means. You'll enjoy it, especially if you're not afraid of horses and cattle.

WHERE'S MADD?

A driver here in the Duke City has been arrested for DWI. That's news? You betcha. It seems this is his twenty eighth (that's right, 28 times) for this offense. He's had "at least" 14 convictions, too. He's had his license revoked five times. It was revoked when he was busted this time, too. He's been to jail for a total of almost four years on DWI charges, (that's since 1985, because tracking information only goes back as 1985) and was on parole for two of these offenses when he was arrested. According to the police officer who stopped him, he fell when he attempted to get out of the car. And failed the field sobriety test. And refused a breathalyzer and/or blood test. Under our laws here, the most he can get is three years in prison, a $5,000 fine, "alcohol evaluation and treatment" and a lifetime license revocation. According to our Sheriff (whom I trust) the laws just don't allow for long jail sentences "unless he goes out and kills someone". That's a chilling way to stop him. Seems to me State Senator William Payne should be more active about that, than worrying about a ticket for speeding. In my opinion, MADD and DADD should be interested in getting a law with more teeth in it, too. The man is a loaded gun, friends, aimed at anyone's head.