GLOBAL WARMING DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T FREEZE TO DEATH

It seems many people have the idea that this Global Warming warning means we'll all sweat to death.

It doesn't. What they seem to be saying is that the Earth is going to go through major climactic changes. And most of the change can be blamed on the human race.

This Warming refers to the unimaginably huge ice caps at our polar ends that are very likely to melt from the heat we, the two legged ants, have managed to create in the planet's atmosphere.

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If it is true, then we're in for climate changes the human race has never even conceived of in its wildest dreams.

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Mom Nature has a way of doing what she wants to, in spite of our puny efforts to change her mind. Thus, if the ice caps do melt, then she'll most likely give us a dose of the coldest weather we've ever seen. Just to balance the scales. She's got a manner of doing that, you know. And we believe that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

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This has been a public service announcement. Please do not abuse the author.

Oh, don't forget the header.

A BURNING QUESTION?

Have you ever sworn at a computer?

David Macmahon, of http://david-mcmahon.blogspot.com/ asked this question on his web site.

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I've started a reply more than once, denying, each time, that I would ever do such a thing to an inanimate object. And each time Wild Thing has made strangling noises in her throat. And Schotzy smiled (yes, she can smile. Or maybe that's a sneer.) in my direction. All of those posts have been deleted. So there.

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Confession is good for the soul, I'm told. I forget who told me that (probably my Mom, years and years ago.) So here's my confession:

Yes, dammit. However, in my defense, I recognized soon that cursing only helped my mental state. It didn't do a thing for, nor to, the damn computer.

Further, in my defense, I was really cursing the software, not the machine.

That being the case, I guess I have never sworn at the computer.

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Now, I will admit to having used unsavory language regarding the keyboard. It sometimes puts strange and unpronounciable words on my screen . There is no excuse for it and I often threaten to replace it with a smarter tool.

So there, David.

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Don't forget the header. It's from the UK.

NO, NO, NO! NOT NOW. NOT HERE

This is a violation of my rights. You know, the right to have a s**w free winter.

Yeah, it snowed here last night. (If I didn't know better I'da thunk Lin sent this to plague me.)

Actually that picture came from a friend in Wisconsin. But that stuff did indeed decide to violate our pristine existence.

I'm thinking of sending it to David Macmahon. Shock the hell out of those Banana Benders.

Keep a stiff upper lip. Cheerio.

Don't forget to click the header.

IT'S ALMOST NEW YEARS DAY?

Hey, wait a minute. The year 2007 just started a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I forgot to wind my calendar? Or the batteries went bad? Geeze. . A friend (call him Joe) asked me today what New Year's Resolutions I was going to make. (I looked at him quizically, waiting for him to acknowledge his error in reading the calendar.) Joe looked back at me, as if waiting for an answer to his ridiculous question. He obviously didn't realize how young 2007 was. Poor guy. . I decided to humor him (it made me feel safer) so I pointed out to him that I hadn't made any resolutions in many years and really didn't see the need for them, since I would undoubtedly forget what I'd agreed to long before the new year ended. . I tried writing them down one year, but the dog ate the paper. . Herewith, the resolutions I have decided to disremember: .

1. Cats will get their special food (canned or prepared) at 6 a.m., 12 noon and 6 p.m. That should be easy. It's the times they get it now.
2. I will not sleep in past noon. (Haven't done that since I worked night shift 20 years ago.)
3. I will not offer ham nor bacon to my Jewish friends.
4. I will not put links like this on my blog: http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
5. I will, however, put links like this on my blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0zgQAp7EYw
6. I will stop calling George Bush "Dubya". Except when he pulls one of his boners or spends our money. (I'm pretty sure I will break this one.)
7. I will continue taking Wild Thing to local casinos. And to Laughlin. And to Las Vegas. (Why stop doing what you like?)
8. I will Google for sites that praise chocolate. (So what's new?)
9. I will continue to get the words to songs wrong when I sing them.
10. I want to try to avoid remarking about how our dollar is dropping so fast, it'll soon be equal to the Mexican Peso. Then all our invaders will feel at home.
11. I promise not to buy a truck that one needs a ladder to get into.
12. I promise to put a link behind every Header I use. I know, I know. I already do that. A man's gotta have at least revolutions (sic) he can keep.
13. I will not go hunting with Dick Cheney.

How about your resolutions?