PEEKABOO

Hi all. It's me, Schotzy again. The two legged cat went to have a nap and I've taken over. That'll teach him.

The Bet:

Two families move from Pakistan to America. When they arrive, the two fathers make a bet to see a year from then which family has become more Americanized.

A year later they meet again and the first man says "My son is playing baseball. I had breakfast at McDonalds and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud. How about you?"

The second man replies, "Fuck off, Raghead!".

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THIEF ACCEPTS INVITATION

A thief has stolen a book titled "Steal this Book" from a modern art exhibition in Switzerland. The organisers of the Basel Shift Festival have decided not to report the theft to the police yet, and hope the thief will return the book. The book with the words "Steal this Book" emblazoned across its cover had been placed in an incubator by artists from the Viennese artist's group Ubermorgen. A spokesman for the artists said: "The central part of the work was a book with the title 'Steal this Book' as a way of representing in art an internet hacking operation that made entire books readable on amazon.com, instead of just single pages. "It was an attempt to praise those that fought for the right for literary freedom, and not an invitation to steal the book." The book was written by Abbie Hoffman in 1970 and published in 1971, and includes advice on growing marijuana, starting a pirate radio station, living in a commune, stealing food, shoplifting, stealing credit cards, making pipe bombs, and obtaining a free buffalo from the US Department of the Interior. Many bookstores refused to carry the book, because so many patrons followed the advice of the book's title and stole it.

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Here's a recipe I found. Enjoy:

http://www.kristianhoffman.com/kitty-litter.htm

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I remember doing this when I was a kitten...and again last week.

http://www.livevideo.com/video/trigirl/24D735D4DE2C4928B20C4EC39AA9F60A/killer-cat-in-vicious-combat-w.aspx

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I found this on Halloween but forgot to put it in my post then. If you wait until it's loaded, then put your cursor on the names you'll get some surprises.

http://www.grumpkins.com/gallery.php

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Sometimes you will cry, and no one will see your tears.

Sometimes you will laugh, and no one will see you smile.

Sometimes you will fear, and no one will see you shudder.

Sometimes you will fall, and no one sees you struggle.

Sometimes you will be late, and no one seems to notice

But fart just one time...

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News for humans:

Administering birth control pills and other contraceptives to middle school students has been approved at a Portland, Maine, school.

The Portland School Committee voted 7-2 Wednesday night to allow King Middle School's health center to offer the services to students, most of whom are between 11 and 13, WCSH-TV, Portland, reported.

The issue arose after five girls reported being sexually active last year. Under the arrangement, parents would have to sign a consent form to allow treatment at the school's health center but, based on doctor-patient confidentiality, wouldn't be notified of any contraceptives administered.

The school has provided condoms to students since 2000, the Portland Press Herald reported. The vote makes King the first middle school in Maine to make a full range of contraception available to students in grades 6 to 8, said Nancy Birkhimer, director of teen health programs for the Maine Department of Health and Human Services.

And they spayed me. Hmmmmph.

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A little girl had just finished her first week of school.

"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother."

I can't read,

I can't write -

and they won't let me talk!"

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Wacky laws:

Louisiana: It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simpleassault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

New Mexico: Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.

Oklahoma: Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed formaking ugly faces at a dog.

Pennsylvania: No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewivesfrom hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.

Washington: All lollipops are banned.

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At a nursing home in Miami, Florida, a group of Senior Citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,"said one.

"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,"said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,".... another went on.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head. Then there was ashort moment of silence.

"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully."Thank God we can all still drive."

THINGS THAT MYSTIFY ME

Once in a while I get stuck on my own questions. The thing behind the header is one such item.

Others follow.

• I have a difficult time understanding how Yale University (a prestigious and expensive school here in the U.S.) could give a degree to a student who can barely make coherent sentences when he speaks. Does Yale care that they have lost their prestige with many of the American public?
• When did MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) lose its way? They were started by a lady who was grieving for her lost daughter, killed by a drunken driver. The idea was to force law enforcement officers and judges (more on that in another post) throughout the country to enforce the laws against drunk driving. It has degenerated into an organization that wants every single vehicle (we have more cars than people here) to have an ignition interlock installed and working. With a no start feature if it detects that glass of wine you had with dinner two hours ago. They want cars impounded of those who get a ticket (for the first or fortieth offense) and sold at auction. And driver's licenses cancelled if you're arrested. Not convicted, just arrested. Mad's actions have become so Zero Tolerance centered that the lady who started and was president of the organization has resigned. My question is "wha' happened"?
• American television has become an advertising first, entertainment and education second, medium. In spite of a Federal Communications Commission no-no note, shows now consist of at least 35% advertising. That's over 12 minutes of being harangued in a 30 minute show, 23 minutes in an hour, untold number of minutes in a sporting event. Some "networks" run print ads over the show they are telecasting so you can be entertained by a full hour of ads. It is very distracting. I've timed some of the ads run during various shows and I guess it depends on how much time their sales people can peddle on a given show. If a citizen complains they love to point out that advertising pays for the "free" television they watch. One network president even said that mute buttons should be removed from TVs. His reasoning indicated that we would be stealing the shows if we didn't watch the commercials. I don't watch the pointless and inane "comedy" shows nor the cruel "sports" shows nor do I watch the thousand and one "infomercials" they display. Question: Isn't it time the FCC started enforcing their own guidelines?
• When did the U.S. decide it was ok to buy food from foreign countries? When we produce more food than we can consume, sell to the rest of the world and even pay farmers not to grow food it seems this action is an oxymoron. And food from certain unnamed (by me) foreign countries who are not known to practice American style hygeine. Don't say it's cheaper. One trip to the hospital from a disease or infection would pay for several years of various food stuffs. Question: When do we wake up and say something like "OK, buy caviar and some wines and exotic items, but do not buy the basics? We were avoiding many diseases until you started to buy from third world countries."
• Why do some bloggers have 6, 8, 10 or even more websites? I can understand two, mebbe three, but larger numbers? (cuckoo has three, one in Hindi, two in English, a couple of others have two). Where do they get the time? Do they ever go to the dinner table? The bathroom? The mailbox? What happens when they have to stop and clean all the garbage out of their browsers? When do they bath? Open a beer? Read the paper? Surf the web?
• When did America decide to ok slavery again? I'm talking about wages and conditions here. There will be a post about it in the future.
• When did the Federal Bureau of Investigation (filled with CPAs and Attorneys) decide an entertainer, in fact a stage magician, was violating a federal law when he was accused by some woman of raping her? Mebbe I am in Kansas? Or Oz?
• When did we decide it was ok to break the law and suffer no consequences? When did the Bar Association decide that the end justify the means?

I'm looking for some smart answers here. So I'm asking the smartest people I know.

ENGLAND AND AMERICA AND CANADA

Oh, how nice to wake up and see this bit of information. I don't hide my displeasure at America turning into a country where sheer physical numbers can force us into changing our laws to suit a definite minority of law breaking people. We have an established method for changing our own laws and those who ignore these rules are undesireable beings. But America is not alone. Seems like misery loves company. Sorry, everyone. Any suggestions? October 25, 2007 Inconvenient Truth re U.K.’s Immigrants. A TV newsman defends his racially explicit analysis of the economic impact of immigration: "Most people will be pleased that somebody is prepared to look at the facts. Immigration is a major development of our time. It is a healthy thing to know where it benefits and where it hinders our society." Question: Was it Lou Dobbs, Bill O’Reilly, or Sean Hannity? Answer: None of the above. Jon Snow is anchorman on Dispatches—a program broadcast on the U.K.’s Channel 4. Snow’s TV documentary, entitled "Immigrants: The Inconvenient Truth," reveals which immigrant communities are a "debit" and a "credit" on "Britain’s Balance sheet." [MPs fear C4 documentary on the cost of immigrants will fuel race hatred By Jonathan Oliver, Daily Mail, (UK) September 30th 2007] In making his case against certain immigrant groups Snow did not reach out to a Heritage Foundation-type research organization. The data tables cited in the documentary were drawn up for Channel 4 by a left-leaning think tank: the Institute for Public Policy Research (IPPR). The IPPR tables reveal that Somalis are the dependency "leaders", with almost 40 percent receiving means-tested public income support. (By contrast, only 4 percent of U.K. natives receive such support.) [Institute for Public Policy Research, Britain's Immigrants: An Economic Profile, September 2007 PDF] Only 19 percent of working age Somalis are employed. Ten percent of this group are unemployed (i.e., looking for work) while a whopping 71 percent are out of the labor force entirely (i.e., not even looking.) [Table 1.] By contrast, 78% of UK natives are employed;4% unemployed; 18% not in the labor force. At the other extreme more than 85 percent of working age immigrants from Australia, France, Canada, and Poland are employed and less than 13 percent are not in the labor force. The IPPR report claims that many Somalis came to the U.K. as refugees with little English, making it difficult to find work. Our question: how do they know work is hard to find when so many aren’t even looking? Somali immigrants also top the IPPR housing table—with 80 percent living in subsidized public housing. The next highest group is Turkish immigrants, at 49 percent. Immigrants from Australia, France, and the U.S. are the least likely to be in public housing—at 5 percent. Seventeen percent of U.K. natives live in public housing. We’ve done similar rankings for immigrant groups in this country—and a comparison is instructive. [Table 2.] Here we rank immigrant groups on the percent that receive means-tested public benefits: In the U.K.: Somalia (39% dependency; 0.14 % of U.K. population) Turkey (21.0 percent; 0.12 percent) Pakistan (11.0 percent; 0.62 percent) Bangladesh (11.0 percent; 0.35 percent) Iran (10.0 percent; 0.10 percent) ---------------------------------------------- In the U.S.: Dominican Republic (57% dependency; 0.24 % of U.S. population) Mexico (43 percent; 3.71 percent) Russia (40 percent; 0.21 percent) Honduras (38 percent; 0.13 percent) Guatemala (36 percent; 0.19 percent) Our immigrants are significantly more dependent and—thanks to the Mexicans—constitute a larger share of our population than their counterparts in the U.K. In fact, most U.K. immigrant groups have lower dependency rates than U.K. natives. [Table 2.] Of the groups with higher dependency rates, many are disproportionately refugees (e.g., the Somalis and Turkish-born) or are naturalized citizens (e.g., the Pakistanis and Bangladeshis.) Implication: The British are doing a better job of vetting public charges out of their immigrant influx than we are. (They get fewer illegals, because the English Channel is wider and deeper than the Rio Grande.) A caveat is in order. Medicaid is the most expensive and widely received means tested benefit available to U.S. immigrants. The U.K. has nothing like it. The U.K.’s system of universal health care is available, well, universally—to immigrant and native, rich and poor. Had IPPR counted national health care as a welfare benefit, the dependency gap between U.K. and U.S. immigrants would narrow, or even reverse. The economic burden of U.K. immigration would appear even larger than portrayed in the IPPR report. As Nobel laureate economist Milton Friedman famously said: “It’s just obvious you can’t have free immigration and a welfare state”. -------------------------------------------------- A friend informs me that many, many native New Mexicans have totally dropped out of the health care scene. (She ought to know. She works at the state's biggest free hospital.) It is said they are fed up with interminable waiting, poorly trained doctors and the rudeness of the illegal aliens. That means that these Americans are being out on the back burner while illegal aliens are being tested, treated and given a pat on the back. The illegals have succeeded in driving the people who have paid taxes for years away from their only recourse in this age of over priced medical care. It's comparatively easy, when one's income is well into the six figure range and medical insurance is paid by your employer, to say that the U.S. (read England, Canada) should take care of everyone in this country whether legal or illegal. It's not so easy when you have two kids and your gross income is in the $25,000 range. Just think. We might get engaged in these kinds of conversations if we're not careful: Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks??? The doctor can't see me for threeweeks??? I could well be dead by then!" Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so,would you have your wife call to cancel the appointment?"

HALLOWEEN BOOHAAAA

There.

I've done a Halloween page. With the scariest pictures I had. Are you trembling? The thoughts that I have, seeing these pictures, should make anyone afraid.

Don't forget there's something different when you click the header.

• Guess who(m?) I'm quoting.
• "As a matter of fact, I know relations between our governments is good."
• "Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."
• "It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way."
• "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
• "Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."
• "Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
• "I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question." Council to turn off street lights at night A Yorkshire council has come up with a radical new way to save money - turning off the street lamps at night. The idea is part of a 'sustainable street lighting strategy' to be considered by City of York Council's ruling executive, says the York Press. Paul Thackray, the council's head of highway infrastructure, says it would minimise the use of natural resources, cut the energy used to power lights, and reduce light pollution. His report says Essex County Council last year agreed a similar scheme to turn off many street lights between midnight and 5am. That move had been criticised, but much of the opposition was "ill-informed", according to Mr Thackray. Opposition Labour group leader David Scott said: "We have to approach with some caution. If I lived in a street where the lights went off, I do not think I would be particularly happy with that." And Jane Mowat, of the Safer York Partnership, added: "Anything that impacted on that feeling of safety, we would be concerned about." But council leader Steve Galloway vowed the executive would not support anything that would reduce public safety. He said: "I know that members will sympathise with the thrust of the report which is aimed at reducing costs and the adverse environmental impacts of the lighting system."

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Some facts (I think most of them are true):

1. China has close to 25% of the world's population.

2. Christmas became a national holiday in the US in 1890.

3. Cows sweat through their noses.

4. Deer sleep only 5 minutes a day.

5. Despite a population of well over one billion people, there are only an estimated 250 million televisions in use in China.

6. Dogs can't decipher size. That's why little dogs are mean.

7. Cleveland law forbids you to operate a motor vehicle while sitting in another person's lap.

8. Dave Matthews relocated to the United States to avoid service in the South African Military.

9. Don't even think about having sex while in a moving ambulance in Tremonton, Utah as it is extremely illegal. Of course, a stationary ambulance is another story.

10. Dentists have recommended that toothbrushes be kept at least six feet from toilets to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

11. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open.

12. Cockroaches break wind every 15 minutes.

13. Coffee was first known in Europe as Arabian Wine.

14. Did you know that 85.7% of statistics are made up?

15. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

16. During pregnancy, the average woman's uterus expands up to five hundred times its normal size.

17. China was the first country to use paper money.

18. During the average human life, you will consume 70 assorted bugs as well as 10 spiders as you sleep.

19. Did you know that crocodiles never outgrow the pool in which they live?

20. Death Valley, California, has a point that is 280 feet below sea level. ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blogged without comment:

CULTURE Junk Science: Gore belches and moose toots We have already heard that bovine flatulence is contributing to global warming.

Now, another large animal whose methane emissions are warming the planet is under attack. This time, Scandinavian moose are the culprit—they are burping and, er, blowing too much of that other hot air. Norwegian researchers blame their national animal for producing 2,100 kilos of carbon dioxide each per year. By comparison, you would have to travel nearly 8,100 miles by car to emit that much carbon dioxide. Global-warming alarmists and PETA lunatics will undoubtedly butt antlers on this one. Hunting season is coming up in Norway and an estimated 35,000 moose (out of a total population of 120,000) will be killed. Meanwhile, Albert Gore and his gaggle of Gorons continue to prep his ‘08 presidential primary launch pad, but a new peer-reviewed study that challenges his global-warming assumptions was released this week. According to astronomer Ian Wilson, “Heat Capacity, Time Constant, and Sensitivity of Earth’s Climate System” (authored by Brookhaven National lab scientist Stephen Schwartz), concludes “that the global economy will spend trillions of dollars trying to avoid a warming of (about) 1.0 K by 2100 A.D. Previously, I have indicated that the widely accepted values for temperature increase associated with a double of CO2 were far too high, i.e. 2-4.5 Kelvin. This new peer-reviewed paper claims a value of 1.1 +/- 0.5 K increase.” Furthermore, Robert Giegengack, chairman of the University of Pennsylvania’s Department of Earth and Environmental Science, said this week that he does not consider global warming to be even among the top ten environmental problems. “In terms of [global warming’s] capacity to cause the human species harm, I don’t think it makes it into the top ten,” says Giegengack. “Gore’s claims that temperature increases solely because more CO2 in the atmosphere traps the sun’s heat—that’s just wrong. It’s a natural interplay. As temperature rises, CO2 rises, and vice versa. It’s hard for us to say CO2 drives temperature. It’s easier to say temperature drives CO2.”

BILL RICHARDSON, THE REAL JOKE

Don't forget to click on the header.

Some things never cease to amaze me. A word of explanation to our foreign readers, first. America has a Presidential election every year. But before anyone can even think of running for that office, they go on a "campaign trail" where they attempt to raise vast sums of money (some raise more money for this one time thing, than a number of countries spend in a year.) and convince the public to vote for them. It's sort of a popularity contest, sort of a "I can tell bigger whoppers than my opponents can" event, or a "see if you can catch me in lies" event.

Every time a campaign gets underway, I am reminded that "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public" and "There's a sucker born every minute."

Every few days some inept polling group lists the "popularity" of the various contenders. I put no stock in these surveys since they are so easy to load to get the answers the people are paying for want.

It seems that an actor and television comedian named Stephen Colbert (the last t is silent) declared on his comedy show that he will run for President.

Mr. Colbert puts a lot of stock in satire and dry wit on his show. But this one is especially funny to me.

In polls held since he announced his candidacy, he will get more votes Bill Richardson.

It seems Colbert appeals to the younger generation (if it was a run off between these two, he'd get my vote too) and those who have a sense of humor.

I am still laughing at this turn of events.

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I just had to include this bit of humor, too:

After Fight, Airport Embraces SUX Code SIOUX CITY, Iowa (AP) - City leaders have scrapped plans to do away with the Sioux Gateway Airport's unflattering three-letter identifier - SUX - and instead have made it the centerpiece of the airport's new marketing campaign. The code, used by pilots and airports worldwide and printed on tickets and luggage tags, will be used on T-shirts and caps sporting the airport's new slogan, "FLY SUX." It also forms the address of the airport's redesigned Web site - .http://www.flysux.com Sioux City officials petitioned the Federal Aviation Administration to change the code in 1988 and 2002. At one point, the FAA offered the city five alternatives - GWU, GYO, GYT, SGV and GAY - but airport trustees turned them down. Airport board member Dave Bernstein proposed embracing the identifier. "Let's make the best of it," Bernstein said. "I think we have the opportunity to turn it into a positive." He noted that many airports, including some of the busiest, have forgettable three-letter codes. "I've got buddies that I went to college with in different cities that can't even remember their own birthdays, but they all know the Sioux City designator - SUX," he said. Mayor Craig Berenstein, who in 2002 described SUX as an "embarrassment" to the city, said he views the new slogan as a "cute little way" to make light of the situation.

SCHOTZY RIDES AGAIN

Sometimes we need a few laughs. Sometimes? I myself spend a lot of time laughing (and wanting to cry). A few minutes spent laughing (or at least smiling) are good for you, the shrinks say. (Not shrinkwrapped people, but they're nice, too.) Thank you for your attention - Schotzy, the cat.

• Scientific Study: A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read blogs with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now. It's too late.
• When is it bad luck to see a black cat? When you're a mouse.
• Australia is also in the midst of an election season, though theirs has big two advantages over ours right now. 1. Their parliament election, which will determine whether John Howard remains prime minister or has to move aside in favor of opposition candidate Kevin Rudd, is just a month away. 2. The most embarrassing YouTube video to surface in their election so far features Rudd idly picking at his earwax and then licking his finger. (Watch it here.) The etiquette breach occurs while one of Rudd’s fellow members of Parliament is droning on something to do with permanent residents. Rudd’s not the only one bored stiff—the redhead sitting in front of him appears to be fighting off sleep, and the woman to his left looks mighty fidgety. I’m confused, though, about how Aussie blogs and newspapers are reacting. The footage is apparently a few years old and has been on YouTube for months, but it’s only now become an issue. A news site says the 30-second clip “could do more damage to Kevin Rudd's election chances than any policy blitz.” Blogs call it Rudd’s “macaca moment.” Really? I’d be relieved if I saw footage of Barack Obama caught picking his nose, or John McCain trying to surreptitiously rid himself of a wedgie. It’s gross and it’s bad manners, but there’s something endearing about catching politicians in those off-guard, embarrassing moments.
• http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
• A woman in her late forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Fifteen years later, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."She said, "Well, I guess that explains the goatee."
• A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write -and they won't let me talk!"
• Last night, I was frustrated by a mole who was digging up the hill toward the house, leaving a trail of mounds. So, I went outside to take the hose and try to wash the mole out of its tunnel. As I left the house, I overheard my daughter saying,"There goes dad again, making fountains out of mole hills."
• Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long time and when he was offered the job at the council as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On his first day things were going great until he arrived at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out the front. Neville thought to himself, "I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but if they find out I missed one house then I will get fired."So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered. Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the other bloke, "Where's ya bin?" The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays." Neville then said, "Na, mate, where's ya BIN?" "I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply. Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya silly idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?" The other bloke looked round to see who might be listening."Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, eh!" (That's for David.)
• I think it would be a good idea.--- Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization.
• Cowboy Wisdom A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time. "The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado, when we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss. "The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.""Hasn't affected my brothers though."
• Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain
• Children are natural mimics who act like their parents in spite of every effort to teach them good manners. - Socratex
• Water VS. Wine: As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - a bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop. However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting. Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health. Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it as a public service.
• "Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." - Dave Barry
• Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
• Grandfather : A banker provided by nature. (For moose.)
• Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.