SOME FUN STUFF

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear or are about to repeat a rumour.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students...?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Test of Three?"

"That's correct," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let us take a moment to test what you are going to say.

The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you do not really know if it is true or not.

Now let us try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness.

Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Plato was banging his wife.

Feeling Old Yet? Each year, the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of the year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1982. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged. Black Monday, 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.There has been only one Pope. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War. They have never feared a nuclear war. Tienamen Square means nothing to them. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them. They have never owned a record player. They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong. They may have never heard of an 8-track. The compact disc was introduced when they were one-year-old. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 33 cents. They have always had an answering machine. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV. They have always had cable. There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was. They cannot fathom not having a remote control. They don't know what a cloth baby diaper is. They have no idea that there was a commercial featuring the line, "I've fallen and I can't get up." They were born the year that Walkman were introduced by Sony. Roller-skating has always meant inline for them. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. They have never seen Larry Bird play. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WWI, WWII and the Civil War. They have no idea Americans were ever held hostage in Iran. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was. To them, Michael Jackson has always been white. McDonalds food never came in Styrofoam containers. There has always been MTV. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. Feeling old yet?

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Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

A: Anyone can roast beef.

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A cowboy is driving down a back road in Texas. A sign in front of a restaurant reads, "Happy Hour Special: Lobster Tail and Beer."

"Hot damn," the cowboy says to himself, "My three favorite things!"