Hey, wait a minute. The year 2007 just started a couple of weeks ago. Maybe I forgot to wind my calendar? Or the batteries went bad? Geeze.
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A friend (call him Joe) asked me today what New Year's Resolutions I was going to make. (I looked at him quizically, waiting for him to acknowledge his error in reading the calendar.) Joe looked back at me, as if waiting for an answer to his ridiculous question. He obviously didn't realize how young 2007 was. Poor guy.
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I decided to humor him (it made me feel safer) so I pointed out to him that I hadn't made any resolutions in many years and really didn't see the need for them, since I would undoubtedly forget what I'd agreed to long before the new year ended.
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I tried writing them down one year, but the dog ate the paper.
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Herewith, the resolutions I have decided to disremember:
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- Cats will get their special food (canned or prepared) at 6 a.m., 12 noon and 6 p.m. That should be easy. It's the times they get it now.
- I will not sleep in past noon. (Haven't done that since I worked night shift 20 years ago.)
- I will not offer ham nor bacon to my Jewish friends.
- I will not put links like this on my blog: http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
- I will, however, put links like this on my blog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0zgQAp7EYw
- I will stop calling George Bush "Dubya". Except when he pulls one of his boners or spends our money. (I'm pretty sure I will break this one.)
- I will continue taking Wild Thing to local casinos. And to Laughlin. And to Las Vegas. (Why stop doing what you like?)
- I will Google for sites that praise chocolate. (So what's new?)
- I will continue to get the words to songs wrong when I sing them.
- I want to try to avoid remarking about how our dollar is dropping so fast, it'll soon be equal to the Mexican Peso. Then all our invaders will feel at home.
- I promise not to buy a truck that one needs a ladder to get into.
- I promise to put a link behind every Header I use. I know, I know. I already do that. A man's gotta have at least revolutions (sic) he can keep.
- I will not go hunting with Dick Cheney.
How about your resolutions?
12 comments:
Beautiful. and accurate. it seems like 2007 just started.
I resolve to be a curmudgeonly, crusty, cantankerous coot. Oh wait... I am all of those already.
Guess I won't have much to change then, will I?
Love your list!
I know what you mean just me. Kind of reminds me of the time sequence the astronaut went through in the film 2001.
Atavist, you aren't as ornery as you pretend. Well, not completely. >)~..^(<
I rang in 2007 quite pregnant, so my only resolution was to give birth. Done. The remaining months of the year have been spent in bliss, knowing that I accomplished the goal I had set for myself. Perhaps I should find hubby and work on next years resolution . . .
Driving, that sounds like a great resolution. And accomplishment. Good luck this coming year, too.
I resolve to read The QuerkeyTurkey every chance I get and to spend as much time with Owen as possible.
Aw, shucks, moose. Make sure you do the latter thing. He's growing every day.
Catmoves:
I like your cat pictures, et cetera. We are critter people here (we have six cats, six dogs, one Cockatoo, and our son rescued a Geko lizard from a basement that someone left behind when they moved. My wife writes her own blog about critters and I post them for her as editor. Her nickname, of course, is "Kritter Girl"; however the locals have come to call her the "dog whisperer" - she helps people with their animals regarding behaviorial issues with some training. Often the training includes the human "owners".
And I agree with your statement - "dogs have owners and cats have staff". :)
And - I don't blame you, I wouldn't go hunting with Dick Cheney either. In fact, I don't go hunting with anyone - I don't trust anyone since I have been out of the military. In fact, I don't hunt anymore at all. I mean, c'mon, shooting Bambi's father or mother? But I do like venison. Deer taste particularly good here on the Peninsula (Wisconsin) because the folks here feed them corn and grain just about year round. Keeps them healthy too. Many of us feed the wild turkeys along with the other wild birds.
Best ...
Hello Keith. I think you forgot to put your URL for the website in this coment.
It sounds like you might be almost ready to open your animal petting farm, there.
I was born in Milwaukee, but spent a lot of time in the Eagle River area. And you're 100% right about the flavor of Wisc venison.
"I promise to do my best, to do my duty to God and the Queen, to help other people every day, especially those at home."
Learned that resolution in Brownies over 50 years ago. Didn't keep it then or any other year.
Babzy you're a joy. There used to be an old comic whose favorite line was "Always leave 'em laughing."
Glad to see you honoring it.
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