Tuesday, April 1, 2008

QWICHERBITCHIN'

Oh, yes it is --------------------->

(Be sure to click the header for something different.)

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I remember the old timey comedians. Like Bob Hope, Bill Cosby and Red Skelton. Here's a piece from Red Skelton:

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RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionshipShe goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds.Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas . 3. I take my wife everywhere .. but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!" 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 monthsI don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" Can't you just hear him say all of these?I love it ... these were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.

And he always ended his programs with the words, "God Bless."

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Did you know...... that today is Respect Your Cat Day?

In 1384, King RichardII of England issued a royal edict condemning the eating of cats. Give your cat a little extra treat today!

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If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. --- Dorothy Parker

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Canadian Snowbirds

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A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Las Vegas.

She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don't know... Why don't you play your age?"

He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Did she win?

He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"

The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29. When 36 came up, she just fainted!"

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Have a look:

http://www.thewvsr.com/adsvsreality.htm

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http://www.icealaska.com/videocam/08Cam/mb8/CAM808mb01.html

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I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. .

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

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I'm not accusing anyone, but...: http://www.switched.com/2008/03/18/internet-and-phone-addiction-could-be-classified-as-mental-illne/?ncid=NWS00010000000001

8 comments:

Buck said...

Did you know...... that today is Respect Your Cat Day?

Nope, I didn't. Strange co-inky-dink, innit? April Fools' Day and Respect Your Cat Day... You may draw your own conclusions, I've drawn mine. ;-)

Great links, Cat. Thanks!! I'd done the Pollack thing before, and it's a real time-waster! (In a GOOD way...)

alphonsedamoose said...

The header is really fun. I did an original Alphonsedamoose.
On the picture side, mine ALWAYS look like the ones on the left. If you believe that I have a country I could sell you.

Lin said...

Wot?!? I missed 'Respect Your Cat Day'?! Well, I DID take them for a good hike, wonder if that counts for anything?

just me said...

I will most definitely be extra nice to my cats today. I hope they return the favor. One is sitting on my computer desk in front of the monitor right now. I think he suspects I am an internet addict...great post!!

Catmoves said...

I'm spinning your comment about cats & April 1. Cats are smarter than humans think. They can pull the wool over your eyes and never let you know they are peeing themselves laughing at you.
The KIngs of April Fool Jokers.
Buck, sometimes we just absolutely, positively need to waste some time.
I figure it's like the time spend fishin'. God don't take that off your alloted time.

Catmoves said...

Moose, I would never doubt anything you state. Buck, on the other hand, might have a few questions.

Catmoves said...

Lin, any time you take your cats for a walk you are respecting them. My cats absolutely love cavorting and showing off on our walks.

Catmoves said...

Just me, you aren't alone with a computer cat. The cat who owns Wild Thing loves to sit on her lap and watch her play "Cuzzle".
I opened a can of sardines for their day and shared them with my furry friends. I'm a sucker for attention, I guess. (Yum. Sardine sammiches.)