Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Have you ever thought about fixing your 'puter with a hammer? I have. And very, very recently.
I lost the sound on mine. Now, this computer was built 'specially for me and my weird way of using the internet. So when the sound went out (and I mean absolutely out, gone) my phone call to my nerd builder enabled me to listen to his answering machine telling me he was on vacation "for a few weeks".
I felt the walls closing in, my heart stuttered and panic was a thin layer of glass away from me. It could shatter with a mere touch.
Ye Gods, reality might set in if that happened. What to do?
Hah. Google it. So, carefully and with exact spelling, I asked our master for help with Avance AC97 Audio. It responded. With umpteen pages of supposed data. "About" 97,000 of them.
I looked at several and then shut down and went to bed. That was day one.
The next day, I admit I was daunted and simply did what had to be done (bank, email, game that didn't need sound to function). Took Wild Thing to good cafeteria for dinner. Went to bed.
The next day I avoided even looking at the beast. Finally gave in and visited the first four of Google's pages. Went to a number of sites. Including Microsoft sites. (Do NOT visit Microsoft sites unless you enjoy clicking on one blue link after another and trying to remember what you read five pages ago.)
(If you like clicking on thingees visit a site by clicking on my header. And be sure to scroll down the page.)
Worn out, brain spinning, wondering if I would fall asleep at the keyboard, I shut it down. Had spent more than five hours trying to get the problem fixed. Slept like a log.
A few more days passed with much the same results. (OK, OK, I did not keep chasing all these rainbow dreams. But I did the necessary things on my muted 'puter.)
Today, I decided I would fix it or get that hammer out. So I opened the Control Panel, clicked on "Sounds" and once again invoked the "Adjust Sound Volume". Then to the "sounds" page. Three times I invoked the fixer pages. Two times they led me to no positive result.
Mumbling "Rackafratz" under my breath I chose to uninstall the driver and then revert it to the last good one. (I am scared to death fooling with the Registery.)
Merry little sounds issued from the speakers. I called up a song and listened to the wonderful sounds.
I had won. Microsoft lost. Avance lost. Two out of three ain't bad.


alphonsedamoose said...

Cat: I almost took a hammer to min the other day. The darn thing would just shut down for no reason. Next day it was fine. I think it heard me tell my wife I was going to buy a new one. Scared the hell out of it.

Buck said...

I am scared to death fooling with the Registery.

You have good reason to fear messing with the registry, Cat. I've seen more hosed-up 'puters made that way by fearless (and clue-free, too... BAD combo) tinkerers than perhaps any other sort of problem, back in the day when I was involved in this sort of thing.

Glad you got sounds again, tho! And I get a 404 error by clicking your header... thought you might wanna know.

Catmoves said...

Moose, I've also found that any time you can scare the dang things, they are likely to fix themselves up once you turn them off. But I like your method of threatening them with replacement.

Catmoves said...

Buck, I learned long ago (from Fred Langa) that the registery is nothing for amateurs like me to "fix". Unless we'uns enjoy reloading our OS's.
Going to look at that header now.
Well, phoo. The place where I stole that from, now shows 404's (does that make them 808's?)also. So I put something else in the header.

alphonsedamoose said...

Just re-read your header. The line about the bra that can be used a a shopping bag. Hasn't it been carrying melons for years?

Lin said...

Misery certainly has company lately.

I keep the computer down close to my foot so that I don't have to go look for a hammer (a handy step-saving hint).

Shrinky said...

I love your way with words (grin). I NEVER, NEVER, NEVER go to "help", it makes my brain bleed. I'm not only on first name terms with the guys at our local computer shop, I bake them cakes. (You think I am joking.) I'm a wimp, they are nerds with mercy, we are a winning team.

YesBut said...

Have you tried turning the volume up on your hearing aid.


Catmoves said...

Moose, that's funny. Wild Thing calls them "Over The Shoulder Boulder Holders".

Catmoves said...

LIn, that's a great idea, just don't put it on the floor (bad things happen there, too) but I've got a shelf near my left foot. CPU now rests there. I will begin to wear my steel toed boots in the future.

Catmoves said...

LIn, that's a great idea, just don't put it on the floor (bad things happen there, too) but I've got a shelf near my left foot. CPU now rests there. I will begin to wear my steel toed boots in the future.

Catmoves said...

Shrinky, the guys at my computer shop are probably too nerdy to eat cake. I feel they'd like watercress and dandelion greens. I'll suggest a cake to WT, but I don't know if she'll do that.
(Speaking of a way with words, everybody I know thinks you are absolutely A number one)

Catmoves said...

Yesbut, I checked the batteries and they're fine. It's the recharged ones I have trouble with. (That's what she said.)

Towanda said...

Hi catmoves. I'm getting settled in New Mexico and catching up with your blog entries.

BOY! I could sure identify with your computer problem! I live in fear that something will happen that I have no idea how to fix. (My hubby and I are still trying to figure out how to connect both of our computers to the ethernet on Qwest. @&#$%$^*^&^#!!!!)

In the early days I had a computer that would cut out, picture and sound would just leave ... and the only way I could get it to work was to give it a good hard smack with the palm of my hand .... worked every time!! haha....

Catmoves said...

Towanda, I bought Qwest Hi Speed some years ago and the price even included a really great nerd who came to our place and hooked us up zippity zing. If you have too much trouble I'd suggest you ask Qwest to send a man out to hook it up.
Wild Thing was using computers when you had to use DOS.
Gee, does that make her older than me?