HERE'S SOME MONEY

How the Stimulus Payments works."This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China . If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer it will go to India. If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala (unless you buy organic). If you buy a car it will go to Japan . If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan. And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY) or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US. Meet those who would like your money:

Don't forget to click the header.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Much happiness and joy and love today. Smooch to all of you. Don't forget to click the link.

PRESIDENT OBAMA, CAN YOU HELP ME?

Click the header.

Mr. President, sir.

I know this may be an imposition on your valuable time since you have to keep accepting resignations from your Cabinet choices (and probably regretting having chosen other people you shouldn't have named as bosses), but I'd like to take the time and ask you, as one American to another, if you might be able to help me out on a few things.

1. I'm just a little guy (almost a millionaire at one time, but I got eaten alive by medical care), so I'm not rich. But I wonder if you could re-arrange the economy so I could regain my status as an average, middle class citizen? With the loss of all these good paying, middle class jobs, I might have to go work for MickeyD's. With my Master's and Doctorate work. I really think I should be able to do better than that.
2. I've noticed that oh so many politicians feel that in our country, nowadays, it seems to be good form to lie. And often, it doesn't matter what they lie about. It is as if they were making a direct assault on our morality fable about G. Washington. There was a time, sir, when getting caught lying to the public automatically bropught about an impeachment trial and removal from office. That rarely happens nowadays. (See Bill Richardson, as an example.) We had great men and women in public office back when this country was founded. Those who weren't got dumped. So, I would like to ask you to try and restore real honesty, at least to our government. Would you?
3. Please put men and women on your staff and in your cabinet who are not named for these jobs because they raised huge amounts of money for your campaign. Seems to me there are many, many people in America who could fill some of those posts and do the jobs better and more honestly than money grubbers. Would you?
4. Please let all the journalists know that they don't have to try and expand your powers with the printed word. After all, you didn't "impose an executive pay cap" did you? I believe I heard you say you asked Congress to do that. See, sir, that's part of the problem with broadcast and printed news: Journalists and editors want to create a situation in which the subject must, sooner or later fail. Please promise not to get caught in their traps?
5. Please help us remember, Mister President, that America is a country founded on law and no one should be permitted to violate our laws with impunity for any reason. That begins with petty shoplifting charges, to illegally entering the country, to powerful men stealing from the taxpayers and/donors. Please give our morality back to us?
6. This is also just a suggestion, but do you think you could call a governor's conference and let them all know that you, as President, will not tolerate irresponsibilty, fiscal or physical, in any shape or form? We would sure appreciate that.
7. I'm kind of an internet hound, and I'd like to hear you state, positively, that you will forbid the Federal (or any other American or body of) government to take away any of our freedoms in its use. I believe that using our right to free and unfettered speech must remain a prime purpose of any President. Yes, I know that means we'll have to accept porno and other distasteful sites being there, but we don't have to visit them. Would you help?
8. I note that there doesn't seem to be any bail out for small business firms in the Executive Bail Out Plan. (At least I haven't heard of any.) Well, sir, I think you know that small businesses, as a group, have more employees even than your federal government. And those people are losing their jobs. Could you help them out?
9. We all have heard of terrorist groups like Hamas and Qaeda and so on, and I was wondering if we could stop sending any and all aid, in any form, to those countries that are harboring these groups? Seems kind of silly to me to help, in any way, the state that is helping support those who want to kill all Americans. Would you consider this?
10. I have heard horrendous stories about our country giving many, many nations "favored" status so that we charge them almost no duty for their goods, but we Americans pay outrageous duty on goods we send them. Would you put a stop to this, please?
11. Since we are in a depression (not a recession) would you agree that it might be a good time to reorganize and institute the old WWII organization, the Office Of Price Administration? And give them control over the oil companies, too? I'd sure appreciate that, too.
12. I would like to see you do something about Social Security, too, if you would, sir. No, I don't want to see it laid on the door step of the people to control their retirement money. If you give them the cash to invest, I am sure you will know what will happen. But here is a modest suggestion: Take the survivors of wage earners and children off the SS rolls. They haven't worked for retirement yet. It's not for them. Take the handicapped off the SS rolls. Few are at the retirement age. The children and survivors should have an entirely different funding plan. So, too, should the handicapped. (While you're at it, maybe you could get the new agency to really tighten up on the "handicap" regulations?) You see, sir, if just those two things happened, Social Security would go back to what it was meant for and would be solvent once again.
13. Since your party has control of both houses, do you think you might ask them to give you a line item veto? That would give you the power to approve or negate the pork barrel items. (And you might consider having them put some teeth in a new act. Like automatic, non-revokable impeachment and jail for any sitting President who was found guilty of deliberately allowing pork in any government budget. I'm pretty sure you think the people would like to have control of their government spending back?
14. Maybe you could give the FDA more money so they could catch these horrible diseases and infections from reaching us? Whoever heard of an American staple like peanut butter having the evil to kill you? In fact, sir, it seems strange to me that a country like ours (who can feed the world) should be importing food from any other country. While we pour milk down storm drains and plow wheat under the ground. Would you give us our food back?
15. One final suggestion for this round: How about putting God back in our schools? And in our country? After all Charles Darwin was a lad of some 26 years when he wrote about nature (an undefined word) making changes in all the animals on earth. After he may or may not have "investigated" an island in the Pacific. And, by the way, he never denounced God, nor suggested that what he wrote was any more than theory.

That's all I have for now, but it surely would be grand to have America back. Thank you, sir.

MEDICAL HELP AWAITS YOU

You will probably need to click the header after you check this out.

The picture is an honest to God sculpture of an instrument used to torture us as applied by the medical discipline. It's called a syringe, I believe. Although I can think of other names for it.

And sadists fill it with warm water (and unknown substances) which makes us do things we would never otherwise do in mixed company.

Anyway, I just want you to recognize this, since our government seems to be preparing to use this giant economy size on all of us. (I don't think you'll be able to buy your way out of it, either.)

Apparently, we may only have our President standing between us and total surrender to faceless people in unnamed offices, in buildings somewhere, who will look all of your past life over. And who knows what kind of decisions they will be empowered to make?

Think I'm a kook? Hah. Now, I haven't yet heard back from my Senators (it's Super Sunday, for Pete's sale) but if the following is true, we need to stop it and let them know we will not tolerate this intrusion. Go to this site, read it and tremble: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=87322.

The article is titled Life With Big Brother. The web existence is a conservative publication, so take that into account.

"WorldNetDaily (WND) is an internet news and commentary site founded in May 1997 by Joseph Farah, a former editor of several major-market daily newspapers and a founder of the conservative non-profit Western Journalism Center. The site became a for-profit arm of the Center in October 1999.[1] "The WND mission statement describes its role as a watchdog on government: "We remain faithful to the traditional and central role of a free press in a free society – as a light exposing wrongdoing, corruption and abuse of power. We also seek to stimulate a free-and-open debate about the great moral and political ideas facing the world and to promote freedom and self-government by encouraging personal virtue and good character."[2] WND operates the G2 Bulletin website, a subscription-only website described as an "intelligence resource" for "insights into geo-political and geo-strategic developments." It also operates a book-publishing division, WND Books, which has published books by Michael Savage, Katherine Harris, Joseph Farah, and Jerome Corsi, among others. In January 2008, WND announced it had acquired its publishing partner, World Ahead Publishing.[3]" - http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=WorldNetDaily

I don't usually put this kind of thing on my pages, but if it is true, I want to give everyone a start on checking up on this. For my part, I am reloading and readying myself.

PRESIDENT OBAMA AND AL ARABIYA

Don't forget to click the header. Please forgive me if you've already seen it.

"My job is to communicate to the American people that the Muslim world is filled with extraordinary people who simply want to live their lives and see their children live better lives," President Obama told Al Arabiya...."

Well, son of a gun. And I thought his first job would have been to take care of America. Whatever could I have been thinking?

When you get older I guess you are no longer capable of understanding that "change" can sometimes mean "I don't really care about you. Go away and stop annoying me".

I wonder how many of the voters who were so enraptured of this man know that he has friends and family, in the Muslim faith.

"I have Muslim members of my family. I have lived in Muslim countries," Obama said, according to a White House transcript. "My job to the Muslim world is to communicate that the Americans are not your enemy."

It seems to me that he will now want to communicate Muslims are not our enemy. That only Al Qeada, the Taliban and Hamas despise everything about us.

He would also like to be more conciliatory, more like the great appeaser Neville Chamberlain. Oh, BTW, his policies didn't work ...either.

Excuse me, but I've got to go fasten my seat belt.

THE QUEEN NEEDS SOME HELP?

Don't forget to try out the header. A little click'll do it.

The election is over. The inauguration is over. The first action has been taken. We're in a dump. Economy-wise, that is (that word came from a California friend).

.

JOE'S FAIR PLUMBING ACT of 2008

(UNCLASSIFIED) Economics Lesson:

President Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it. Joe drives to the White House, where it's clear that all the residents in the neighborhood make more than $250,000 a year.

.

Joe arrives and takes his tools into the house.

He is led to the room that contains the leaky pipe under a sink.

Joe assesses the problem and tells President Obama it is an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes. President Obama asks Joe how much it will cost.

Joe immediately says, "$9,500."

"$9,500?" President Obama asks, stunned. "But you said it's an easy repair!"

"Yes, but what I do is charge a lot more to my clients who make more than $250,000 per year so I can fix the plumbing of everybody who makes less than that for free," explains Joe.

"It's always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied government to pass this philosophy as law and it did pass earlier this year, so now all plumbers have to do business this way. It's known as 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act of 2008.' Surprised you haven't heard of it, Mister President."

In spite of that, the President tells Joe there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Joe leaves.

.

Senator Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book looking for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses listed have gone out of business.

.

Not wanting to pay Joe's price, President Obama does nothing. The leak under the President's sink goes unrepaired for the next several days. A week later the leak is so bad that President Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there's a risk that the room will flood, so President Obama calls Joe and pleads with him to return.

Joe goes back to the White House, looks at the leaky pipe, and says "Let's see this will cost you about $21,000."

"A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!" The President quickly fires back.

Joe explains the reason for the dramatic increase. "Well, because of the 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act,' a lot of rich people are learning how to fix their own plumbing, so there are fewer of you paying for all the free plumbing I'm doing for the people who make less than $250,000. As a result, the rate I have to charge my wealthy paying customers rises every day.

"Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work from the group of people who get it for free has skyrocketed, and there's a long waiting list of those who need repairs. This has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, and they're not being replaced - nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they won't make any money. I'm hurting now, too. All thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their fair share."

President Obama tries to straighten out the plumber: "Of course you're hurting, Joe! Don't you get it? If all the rich people learn how to fix their own plumbing and you refuse to charge the poorer people for your services, you'll be broke and then what will you do?"

Joe immediately replies, "Run for president, apparently.".

"Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." --Sir Winston Churchill

.

And then there is this: http://www.grandforksherald.com/articles/index.cfm?id=102778&section=News

A not exactly first rate TV and night club comic may become a Senator. Aw, shucks, why should I be surprised? After all, I lived through a second rate twice. Twice. And a clown who never did apologize to us for his lies. A blow is sex, Bill. And a semi-literate Prez.

.

After both the Chief Justice John Roberts and President Barack Obama couldn't quote the Constitution correctly, the thought occurred to me that we might not have seen the last of President Bush.

.

Whatever you've got planned to do, make sure you view this completely. There's a kicker at the end. http://www.freakybestmanspeech.com/

.

Now, there are probably more people with spare time than I imagined. Some of them even hold nationwide contests and hand out prizes. Strange competitions like: http://www.canstruction.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1

.

Americans aren't the only ones with problems in schools:

LONDON - A third of elementary school students confused Sir Winston Churchill with moon-walking astronaut Neil Armstrong, a British survey found.

The survey, commissioned by Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment and the Royal Astronomical Society, found that a third of children ages 4 to 10 mixed up the British leader with the first man to set foot on the moon, London's Daily Telegraph reported Thursday.

"It's a bit of a worry to find that children don't know who the first man on the moon is, let alone that they don't know who led the country to victory in the Second World War," said Gavin Quirk, a Disney brand manager.

A similar survey of British teens in February reportedly showed that 25 percent believe Churchill was a fictional character.

.

Signs of the times:

Sign seen in an animal shelter: "All children left unattended will be given a free kitten."

.

While Wild Thing and I were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes followed her. Without looking up from the item she was examining, Wild Thing asked, "Was it worth the trouble you're in?"

.

I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone.

My wish has come true. I no longer knowhow to use my telephone.