Sunday, July 1, 2007

GUESS I SHOULD GIVE YOU A REST

<-----My daughter, Kat, who lives in Australia. I wonder where she was that night?
After that last post, I think I should give you some laughs. Hope it works.
Just A Few Things You Probably Didn't Know You spend about 3 years of your life in the toilet.
The slowest growing finger nail is on the thumb nail and the fastest growing is the finger nail on the middle finger.
Scientists say that babies that are breastfed are more likely to be slimmer as adults than those that are not breastfed.
There are more chickens in the world than people.
Pinocchio was made of pine.
One out of 20 people have an extra rib.
Manicuring the nails has been done by people for more than 4,000 years.
People whose mouths have a narrow roof are more likely to snore. This is because they have less oxygen going through their nose.
Sheriff Flunks Exam After License Expires Lawman Drove On Expired License 14 Months POSTED: 10:59 am EDT June 29, 2007 ANDERSON, S.C. -- Anderson County Sheriff David Crenshaw said he drove for 14 months on an expired driver's license. And he said he flunked the driving test the first time he tried to get his license back. Crenshaw called it a mistake -- he thought he had a 10-year license instead of a five-year license. The sheriff had to take the driving test because he let his license lapse so long. Crenshaw said the three-point turn did him in on his first try because he did it backward. He passed on his second attempt. The sheriff said he was never pulled over while his license was expired and never had a reason to check it.
Well, duh.
Do you know your IP address?
Relax time...
Here's a job opening. Are you listening moose?
Looking for "Mr. Condom" Fri June 29, 8:49 AM ET India, struggling to promote greater condom use among its population, is looking to hire its own "condom man" to follow the example of a former Thai cabinet minister who successfully pushed for safer sex. National AIDS Control Organisation (NACO) chief Sujatha Rao said that India needed to find someone like Mechai Viravaidya, famous for getting Thais to talk about sex, condoms and AIDS. "We are serious about finding India's very own Mr Condom," Rao was quoted as saying after visiting Thailand to study its dramatic increase in condom us+ over the past decade, which contributed to a sharp fall in new HIV infections. "He has to feel passionately about the cause as Mechai does ... have a dynamic personality to change both government policy and public perceptions about HIV/AIDS, sex and condoms," Rao was quoted in The Times of India as saying. Mechai became famous in Thailand as the "Condom King" for actions such as taking condoms to World Bank talks as well as for the name of his Bangkok restaurant "Cabbages and Condoms," where condoms are a major part of the decor. Authorities in India, where many people are hesitant to talk about sex and condoms openly, are trying to push condom use through television, radio and newspapers and by targeting high-risk groups. India has millions of people who are HIV-positive and many of them face discrimination and prejudice. The government plans to announce a new $2.8-billion plan next month to fight HIV, heavily focusing on promotion of condoms. Britain's Department for International Development said on Friday it would provide 102 million pounds ($204 million) for the five-year plan, doubling its funding despite a new survey indicating India's HIV caseload of 5.7 million -- the world's largest -- could be a big overestimate. Total donations are expected to touch about $900 million, including from the World Bank and USAID. In Thailand, Viravaidya's organisation -- the Population and Community Development Association of Thailand -- won the $1 million Gates Award for Global Health this year that is awarded by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the next Summer Olympics. He explained "Anyone who can run, jump or swim has already left the country."
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.--- King Edward VIII Wacky laws:Louisiana:It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
New Mexico:Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
Oklahoma:Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed formaking ugly faces at a dog.
Pennsylvania:No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewivesfrom hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
Washington:All lollipops are banned.
We New Mexicans prefer our women clean shaven.
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end,I wouldn't be a bit surprised.--- Dorothy Parker
9 Things I Hate About Getting Old
1. That by the time most people have saved enough money to travel the world, they are too old to endure such a trip.
2. When your childhood friend who was always better than you at everything is still better than you at everything.
3. That it would be socially unacceptable, at your age, to wrap a Fruit Roll-Up around your pinky and suck on it for two hours.
4. That future generations will look back on the early 2000s as an era in which we did nothing but look back at the 1970s and '80s.
5. Remembering how people of your current age seemed so old when you were a child.
6. When the agony of turning 40 makes you ashamed of how depressed you felt on your 30th birthday.
7. That every time you come to accept your current level of hair loss, there's a more profound stage awaiting you.
8. When your heart skips a beat, reminding you of its eventual failure.
9. Watching the era you grew up in turn from the recent past to retro to history.
Have fun, friends.

10 comments:

alphonsedamoose said...

Cat: Think I'll pass on the job. They don't make them big enough. LOL

Lin said...

Grin ... should have known that you would have a kitten named Kat!
I think Moose should apply for that job in India, too. His moose love call alone would convince them.

Catmoves said...

Sorry to hear that moose. Did Mrs. moose have an input?

Catmoves said...

lin it was only natural. Her real name is Kathleen.
I think moose may have to sell it to Mrs. moose first. Wanna see if you can get him to do it?

alphonsedamoose said...

Cat: Mrs.Moose has no say. And if you believe that I have a bridge I'm selling.

Catmoves said...

moose, you talk brave when Mrs. moose can't see what you're up to.
I'm gonna get lin to write her a letter.

Lin said...

I do have Mrs. Moose's direct e-mail, too, Cat. Just say the word.

alphonsedamoose said...

Cat: Thanks a lot. Want to buy the bridge? LOL

Catmoves said...

You're so very welcome moose. And as soon as I can find a place to put it, I'll buy that bridge. Now be nice....

Catmoves said...

lin has very kindly offered to send that email. ROFLMAO.
Wonder what that's worth for bribery? Hmmmmm.