Tuesday, August 14, 2007

GUESS WHAT SHE DID?

Bumper sticker I saw: "I'll support impeaching Bush, if they de-nut Cheney first." Ring Bell for Maid Service...If no answer, do it yourself! If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. My next house will have no kitchen --just vending machines.
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The three biggest lies:
3. Your check is in the mail.
2. I'm from the government and I'm here to help you.
1. We'll delete your personal information.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Google, the proctologist of the Internet
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One ugly frog.
An elderly lady was somewhat lonely, and decided that she needed a pet to keep. So off to the pet shop she went.
Forlornly, she searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this one ugly frog.
As she walked by the barrel he was in, he looked up and winked at her!
He whispered, "I'm lonely too, buy me and you won't be sorry."
The old lady figured what the heck, she hadn't found anything else.
So she bought the frog and went to her car.
Driving down the road the frog whispered to her, "Kiss me,you won't be sorry."
The old lady figured what the heck, and kissed the frog.
Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous,sexy, handsome, young prince.
Then the prince kissed her back, and you know what the elderly lady turned into?
Come on, guess...
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The first motel she could find.
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One night, after a couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.
He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back.
He then ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.
Then he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.
He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side then the other.
His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs.
His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh.
By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.
The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.
"Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered breathlessly.
He whispered back, "I found the remote."

6 comments:

alphonsedamoose said...

Do you suppose the guy in the last joke survived?

Love the lady who registered her dog to vote.

Catmoves said...

Last I heard, moose, he had a great big smile on his face...

Babzy said...

Hi Catmoves: Just checking in to wish you a good evening. I'll be back another day. Feeling a little out of sorts lately. Must be getting old....... NAH

Catmoves said...

Hi Babzy. I don't think it's old age. I've been noticing that blah. later on feeling, on many blog sites. (This one included.) We all need some of FHB's solution I think.

Babzy said...

What's FHB's solution?

Catmoves said...

Babzy, check out FatHairyBastard's blog for the answer to that.