Sunday, October 7, 2007

SOMETIMES I GET LAZY

My oldest cat asked if she could write this post. Herewith: I had run across the term cyber sex a few times lately, so I decided to try to figure out what it meant. I figured it had something to do with the computer, so I tried to find the sex drive on mine. I looked everywhere, in all the folders on My Computer, the Add/Uninstall software, install hardware part of the control panel, then I got out all the manuals and went through them. I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one. So I decided to go to the computer store to see if I could buy one. Well, the salesperson in the first store was a rather stern looking woman. I gave her the make and model of my computer and asked her if she had any sex drives in stock. She kinda scowled at me and asked if I was trying to get smart with her. Then she said, rather rudely I thought, that she could not help me and walked away. Huh, must not have had any in stock. In the second store, the sales guy kind of sniggered and asked if I meant a hard drive. I thought about it for a minute and told him, 'Yeah, maybe that, but I think I already have one installed'. He started laughing and said something about me killing him. 'You're killing me'-- like that, and walked away. Hmmm, must be out of stock here, too. The guy in the third store laughed and asked me if I'd fallen off the turnip truck. I assured him I'd never been on a turnip truck but I had fallen off the wagon a few times. He said that explains it and walked away laughing. The guy in the fourth store said something like 'idiot'under his breath and walked away. Anyway, I figured they must not carry them in stores, maybe I needed to order from a catalogue or something. That's where I am now. So, if any of you have some computer skills and could help me locate my sex drive, I would appreciate it. _________________________________________________________ Canadian Moose? BROOMFIELD, Colo. (UPI) -- An auto dealership in Colorado had an unusual visitor cruise the aisles of automobiles --an 800-pound moose. Eric Erbsland - sales manager at the Sill-TerHar'sFord-Lincoln-Mercury dealership in Bloomfield - said no one wanted to confront the animal after it was discovered lost among the cars last week, The Rocky Mountain News reported. "He started out at our service department, then ran all the way through, past every single new car, then pulled a U-Turn and ran right at us," said Erbsland. "That's when we ran. "The moose eventually was stopped with tranquilizer darts and moved into a horse trailer - with the help of a frontend loader. Before the male yearling awoke, it was relocated to a park hundreds of miles away and was allowed to wander free. The moose had to cross several roads to get to the car dealership, the newspaper said. ______________________________________________________ Cats are smarter than dogs. You cannot get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. ______________________________________________________ A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving inAustralia, he was questioned by a customs officer, "What is your business in Australia?" "I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply. The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction record?" Confused, the Kiwi then replied, "I didn't think you still needed one." _______________________________________________________ I will not answer questions if you click on the header. _______________________________________________________ Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.... _______________________________________________________ "So, Alphonse, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?""Yep," Alphonse shook his head. "Whenever I mention sex, they object." _____________________________________________________ Prisoners rioted at a jail in New Mexico after being told they would be allowed only one sausage each at dinner. Inmates of the Lee County Prison started fires, broke toilets and smashed windows, reports the Hobbs News Sun. Officials said the prisoners began yelling and banging on their doors in what they described as a "temper tantrum." Officers from the Lea County Sheriff's and Hobbs Police departments were called in to restore control, and the jail was locked down after the incident. Warden Jann Gartman said 33 prisoners were involved in the disturbance. The remaining 300-plus prisoners at the jail accepted the meal without incident, authorities said.

20 comments:

YesBut said...

Great post LOL.

"Hard drive" - brilliant response.

I'm surprised you haven't got a sex drive installed on your computer. I can only assume you have an Apple.

If you had a PC you could get Windows XP, that manages on a regular bases to f*** up my work.

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Priceless - where do you get all this stuff from? Thanks for making my Monday (especially the cybersex thingy - if you find one, let me know, huh?) Grin

Buck Pennington said...

"Really?""Yep," Alphonse shook his head. "Whenever I mention sex, they object."

I can relate, sad to say...;-)

alphonsedamoose said...

Hey! with Canadian money at par, I was looking for a new car.
I am apiece of string.
They only object until I how them what I have bought from the header. Then it is smooth sailing.LOL

just me said...

Good luck finding your sex drive. I might suggest looking for one in the back of Hustler Magazine in the ads sections. The installation, however, might be a tad tricky. Depends on whether your looking for an internal or external drive. And what kind of capacity. I figure most men would want at least 12 gigabytes.

YesBut said...

Surely how upset you are over the number of sausages, depends upon what you want them for.

One sausage is totally inadequate to make "toad-in-the-hole". Wonder how it got that name?

Rachelle said...

Ha-ha-ha-ha!!! *gales of laughter*
Woo-hoo.... *wipes tears*
Thanks for the laugh, tell your kitty she did good!
Slainte~
Rachelle

Catmoves said...

yesbut, I do have a PC and XP SP2. And yes, it does as you say, but not as badly as that Vista I tried (and uninstalled when it screwed my hard drive. Or screwed it up. Whichever).

Catmoves said...

Shrink, thank you for your kind observation.
If I ever get this hard drive thingee working, I'll let you know what the nerd did. Maybe even let you borrow him.

Catmoves said...

Hi buck. I recommend your site to everyone here.

Catmoves said...

yes, moose. With Canadian money at par you can make those purchases. I assume you are buying them for Mrs. moose.

Catmoves said...

A minimum of 12 megs just me.
I didn't know they still published Hustler. How do I get an external drive and which would be better?

Catmoves said...

yesbut, I found this out: "Toad-in-the-hole should be very crispy." They also say it's good with jam. Wouldn't that make it sticky?

Catmoves said...

Our oldest cat says thank you. Says you may call her Schotzy and you may pet her any time you want. And she has absolutely no intention of pulling any sled.
tairbheach don tsláinte~

Lin said...

Schotzy did very well for a senior kitten! Is she going to become a regular guest blogger? Would you dare trust her with your blogger password? Well ... I mean, you know how cats can get.

Babzy said...

tairbheach don tsláinte~

What does this mean? Is it cat speech?

Your senior cat has a great sense of humour. Very funny. She deserves a cat cookie.

Catmoves said...

It's Irish Babzy. You can look it up here: http://www.englishirishdictionary.com/dictionary
Senior cat got extra canned food for her hard work. Talk about spoiled.

Catmoves said...

lin, thanks for the laugh. Schotzy says she can use Roboform to get my password. I suspect she may write posts in the future.

just me said...

I guess the option of an external drive would depend on what kind of set up you already have. I think the external is more of a plug and play type of thing. An internal drive means you have to open up the whole system, and install it, which I would highly recommend a professional do.

You can find external sex drives at specialty shops. They usually are surrounded by bright neon signs.

Catmoves said...

Just me, I guess I'll have to admit I don't have first hand knowledge of sex shops.
Wild Thing wouldn't like me to have an internal drive so I'll take your advice and go look in a sex shop for that colorful display you mention. I am relying on your superior knowledge here.